Dragon In The Light

Friday Five Recommendation Edition

2012-01-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

Oh hooray for the RevGals who posted today's F5! (thanks revkjarla)
So, it's the time of year I get inundated with requests for recommendations for students that are looking to be camp counselors. So in honor of camp counselors everywhere, today's Friday Five is the Recommendation edition (which has nothing to do with camp or summer or anything--work with me, it's late....)

I was just writing this recommendation in my head yesterday!

note to readers--it will be impossible for me to stick to ONE in each category... and then I'm going to everyone else's blog to see what they recommend!

1. Recommend a favorite worship resource or devotional book.

Before the Amen: Creative Resources for Worship by Maren & Maria Tirabassi; the Feasting on the Word commentary series (I read and recommend it for devotion as much for sermon prep); Fragments of Your Ancient Name: 365 Glimpses of the Divine for Daily Meditation by Joyce Rupp (beautiful, brief, poetic daily images--not for everyone).

2. Recommend a blog that you like to read that you think others might find enjoyable.

Abbey of the Arts; Velveteen Rabbi; The Painted Prayerbook; Prayers4Today; and Aqui, Ahora are just a few of my regulars.
3. Recommend a fiction book that you think people might like.

One of my all time favorites is Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston. A way-out-there favorite (again, not for everyone) is The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk.
4. Recommend a favorite recipe website. O.k., if you aren't into cooking or food, then just recommend a random website that you find useful, hilarious, mind numbing or thought provoking.

I do not cook. But, for the realm of mind-numbing or when I need a no-questions laugh, I go to lolcats on icanhascheezburger.com. As a cat lover, I can't help but laugh at the kitty-pics.
5. And for the last recommendation--it's bloggers' choice! Make a recommendation for anything!

I recommend reading other people's recommendations on RevGalsBlogPals!

That's where I'm going now...

Epiphany Friday 5... A-ha Moments!

2012-01-06T09:52:00.000-07:00

Today is Epiphany, the day of the shining star and magus gifts and illumination and such. And so the grand folks over at RevGalBlogPals have offered this Friday 5 for our cogitation...

In the midst of the holiday season I had one of those moments where a path suddenly was made clear - A-ha! This experience has prompted me to wonder what some of your A-ha moments may be.
They can be mundane - a realization that you like/don't like a certain food or that you really look good in that color you never had the guts to try. They can be sacred - a way to better pace your day clicks into place or finally a devotion or meditation practice that really works for you. They can be profound - the moment you realized he/she was the one (or wasn't)or the moment you realized where your deepest passion could meet the world's greatest need.
Please tell us - what are five (more or less) of your 'A-ha' moments. Where have you had a moment of clarity?

So from the mundane to the sublime, here are some of mine:

Realizing that Colorado is finally "home." That happened last summer (2010) when I'd pop back here for interludes between sabbatical workshops. Stepping out the airport to see the expanse of plain to the east and Rockies to the west; breathing open air from a clear, bright sky; talking with genuinely friendly people in their toll booths--all of this and more make Colorado "home" (even without an ocean). What a nice surprise!
I considered leaving the MDiv program near the end of my first year in seminary--but a professor of Pastoral Care talked me into a period of discernment through a CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) summer unit: she thought it could help me explore my call. My first day in St. Joseph Hospital of Orange, CA overwhelmed me with "rightness." I became a hospital chaplain and loved it. It led me to ordination and, eventually, to realize I can also enjoy parish ministry (who knew?)! Fourteen years later I can still feel that sense of "rightness" from those first few days at the hospital.
Sophomore year in college, second semester, I had an epiphany late one night: "I'm attracted to a woman!" The revelation was so powerful and "true" that I told all the important people in my life (close friends, the person to whom I was attracted, parents, pastor, mentors) within 48 hours.
Comfortable shoes. Yes! Never did I think about shoes until several years ago--I was (and still am) a Birkenstock sandal kinda gal. But now I've expanded to comfy shoes that are cute! Oh yes--I believe in MaryJanes.
What a revelation it was to realize I'm a morning person. No wonder night classes were so abhorrent to me! And to get up early to write or exercise (oh, for that dedication again) seems holy. Mornings are a gift, and I'm thankful to have had that clarity come to me :).

Nearly New Year Friday Five...

2011-12-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

RGBPs posted this morning....

A simple Friday Five for a busy part of the year; indulge me by sharing two fives:

As you look back over 2011 share 5 blessings, they can be as grand or as simple as you like,if you year has been like mine they are probably a mixture!

As you look towards 2012 share 5 hopes- again, anything goes!

2011 Blessings:

survived (too many deaths)

mission trip to Venezuela (life-changing and recharging)

wonderful ministry (7 years?!)

Jamie, Puck & Teiresias (11 years with all of them!!)

a beautiful, amazing, wonderfully perfect home

2012 Hopes:

more recharging

improved motivation for health

improved motivation for writing

happy marriage for my big brother

to become "Aunt" Sharon (yay for friends!)

First Freeze Haiku

2011-10-26T19:19:00.002-06:00

an aching branch lays
down its burden; snow and sap

crack, its last exhale

Thanks to the internet and whoever took the pics for sharing these!

No Words

2011-10-23T07:11:00.000-06:00

So, I've been back from Venezuela a little over a week now, and I have not yet posted anything about my experiences (later today I'll add a sermon with some response on In Praise of Sophia, and I'm working on another short piece to be added soon). Mostly, I think I haven't posted because I cannot put the depth of spiritual encounter into words.

For now, I can only offer this last stanza from the song "The Afterlife" on Paul Simon's latest album, So Beautiful or So What.

Seriously, "all that remains when you try to explain is a fragment of song..."

After you climb up the ladder of time
The Lord God is near
Face-to-face in the vastness of space
Your words disappear
And you feel like you’re swimming in an ocean of love
And the current is strong
But all that remains when you try to explain
Is a fragment of song
Lord, is it Be Bop a Lula? Or ooh Papa Doo?
Lord, Be Bop a Lula? Or ooh Papa Doo?
Be Bop a Lula

Medical Mission

2011-10-04T09:15:00.000-06:00

Early tomorrow morning I leave on my first adventure beyond the USA. It's a medical mission trip with members of my regional church (Rocky Mountain Conference, UCC) and the Disciples of Christ. For 15 years we've been in relationship with the UEPV (Evangelical Pentecostal Union of Venezuela)--we've had more than 20 trips together. This time, 11 of us will travel to join with them for various medical clinics in rural areas.

I ask prayers for this time--for me, for my colleagues, for our churches, for the individuals we'll meet. Prayers for open hearts and open spirits, that we all may grow together. Thank you in advance.

Venezuelan Medical Mission Trip

a very basic outline of our “flexible” itinerary (with open space for “as needed”)

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Denver, Colorado, USA àMaracaibo, Venezuela

Thursday

Get acquainted with UEPV (Unión Evangélica Pentecostal Venezolana), our partner denominationàteam orientation

Friday

MaracaiboàPortuguesa, worship at dedication of new church

Saturday

Medical clinic at Mountain of Zion Church (no hospital in community)

Worship at Los Maria Church and celebrate pastor’s 80^th birthday

Sunday

Medical clinic at Peritu at Betty’s House

Worship and dedication of another new church

Monday

àBarquisimeto

Tuesday

àMaracaibo

Wednesday

àWayuu (indigenous community) clinic and ceremonies

Thursday

TBA

Friday, October 14, 2011

MaracaiboàDenver

At Home

2011-09-20T13:48:00.002-06:00

The Abbey of the Arts periodically hosts a "poetry party." Today, the offering asks, "What does the metaphor of "going home" evoke for you? What are the longings that autumn stirs in your heart?" Below is my response. May God bless all of our "homes" -- those from which we come, and those we create now. Join the party!

At Home

At home there is a river

that, over too much time

for memory, niched

its way through a mountain,

making a way where there was

no way. At home that river

feeds leafy flesh so rich

they age to majestic purples

this dusky time of year. At home

my parents also survive on

that river’s passage, but

their veins grow thick through

papery skin losing its pinkish hue.

At home the leaves will fall

into the river’s flow, be swept through

a mountain gap and into mulch. At

home they will one day be one

with the mountain and trees

and, eventually, no longer be

in memory.

Seeking What?

2011-09-16T08:11:00.000-06:00

RevGal Jan posted today's Friday Five: Seeking What?

I was struck in our weekly Lectio Divina group by a few verses from Psalm 105:3-4:

. . . let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.
Seek the Lord and his strength;
seek his presence continually.

Seeking is rejoicing. Rejoicing comes from the seeking, NOT the end of glory, heaven, enlightenment, or whatever. Seeking is the journey--RIGHT NOW!

So for this Friday Five, list what you are seeking, whether it is trivial, profound, or ordinary--whatever you would like to share! List 5 and add a bonus if you feel like it!

~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What am I seeking? So many things, but for today in particular....

1. A homily for tomorrow's wedding. I began one, but I don't know if I'm following the Spirit with it or not. So I need to "let it lay" for a little while and come back to it and listen again.

2. Some peace from time-anxiety. Do I have enough time to spend "playing" with my parents today? Or do I need to focus? Either way, I seek the peace.

3. Connection.

4. The willingness to just be in this beautiful place (Vermont mountains, GREEN, winding roads...it's like home).

5. More peace and grace and wisdom and... God.

Overcomers: Friday Five

2011-07-22T08:06:00.000-06:00

Mary Magdalene by He Qi (one of my favorite artists!)

RGBP’s Sally writes: Today is the Feast day of St Mary Magdalene, and as I've been pondering her life and the inspiration she is I find in her a wonderful mix of struggle and devotion. She is both the woman who needed a deep healing and the woman who was declared (by many) to be the first amongst the apostles. She inspires me by the way she overcame so much to become so much. When I stop to think about the folk who do inspire me they are almost always overcomers in some way or another.

With that in mind I bring you this Friday Five; List five people who inspire you to dare to step out into becoming more: Bonus question, a song or fictional character that inspires you to move beyond boundaries!

1. This seems like a generic answer, but it is NOT—my mother. She grew up with 4 brothers in a family that regarded girls as… well, they didn’t regard girls! She married at 19 and never went to college (girls weren’t smart and didn’t go beyond high school—in fact, none of the family went beyond high school). She “followed expectations” until her 3 kids were out of the house, then she became herself! She started acting and continued preaching (as a lay minister around her denomination’s conference). I didn’t respect her enough for any of this while I was growing up, but she deserves every ounce of it. Yay Mom! Her life inspires me to think I can always grow a bit, no matter my age or where I come from.

2. S--- is one of my church members who has lived with ovarian cancer for 8 years. Lived with it. As in alive. She has been through every treatment and every trial, and now she knows she’s dying because of it… but she continues to live! Inspiration. Breath. Every moment: in anger and sorrow and joy and playfulness: breath.

3. S---, this time a colleague, a co-worker and friend who is younger than I but so very mature and grounded in her faith. She inspires me to be more compassionate, a better listener and stronger in my relationship with the Divine.

4. Lillian Daniel is a writer, preacher, retreat leader, parent, pastor of a local congregation and all-around amazing person. I met her several times when we served together in the New Haven Association of the Connecticut Conference… but she always seems more to me (look at all her accomplishments!). She inspires me to want to be more.

5. I adore Kilian McDonnell’s poetry. I want to write like he does (more accurately, I want to write in my style, but evoke from others what his poems evoke in my spirit). Yes, he is an inspiration, having begun writing poetry in his 70s… I have some time!

BONUS: “Let It Be Me” (Indigo Girls song): let it be me (this is not a fighting song) let it be me (not a wrong for a wrong) let it be me, if the world is night shine my life like a light

Naming Names

2011-07-17T22:07:00.001-06:00

My congregation has had many deaths in 2011. One more tonight. I have the need to name these beloved dead.

Ruth

Esther

Ted

Smokey

Fred

Herk

Laura

Marie

I have had one personal beloved who has gone.

Anthony

If you happen to read this post, please offer prayers for their families. Thank you.

My Name Spells Gratitude

2011-07-15T13:12:00.001-06:00

The gals & pals are at it again, with a GREAT F-5 this week... A wise person once told me to make an ABC list of things I am grateful for any time I feel sad or depressed. It is a good practice when one is feeling happier than that, too. So for this Friday Five, I suggest that you use your name or nickname of about five letters and express your gratitude about something that starts with each letter. Some people have longer names, so you decide how you will go about this! (Last names, middle names, and nicknames count!)

First of all, I’m exceptionally grateful to the poster of today’s Friday Five—I need this gratitude practice right now. My congregation has been hit by 6 deaths in the last few months—very active and beloved members all—and we have the prospect of several more in the very near future. Today I received a call that one more, very active, very beloved person is actively and unexpectedly dying. I am very, very sad. So I sit down to share gratitude in the midst of this sadness.

S spirit—I am eternally grateful that the Spirit is present with me

H health—I give thanks that I have bodily and mental strength right now

A artistry—my inner poet finds consolation, joy and prayer in the writing process

R relationship—always, always Jamie is on my gratitude list

O ordinary—I'm grateful for all the ordinary things that bring me delight (like the obnoxious choke weed that I find so beautiful, and the smell of the road after a hard rain)

N neighbors—the sermon I’m currently working on highlights one of my neighbors; they're such an unexpected blessing in my life

Friday...4?

2011-07-08T09:46:00.000-06:00

Summertime Friday Five

So, what's up, Rev Gals and Pals? How are you spending your summer? (I know, some of you are in a different hemisphere and it may be chilly...sorry!) Are you experiencing fire or floods or tornados? Vacationing? Working harder than ever? Experiencing change? Longing for change?

Share five things that are happening in your life, personally or professionally or some of each, in this season of life.

~~~~~~~~~

1. For a week of vacation, I had the wonderful adventure of taking a road trip with my spouse -- we left Colorado for Kansas (wonderful friends!), then Indiana (another wonderful friend!), then Iowa (family), and return to Colorado (no humidity!). One of my favorite things to share about the trip: "What do 2 ministers and a religion professor do on their time off? Visit the Creation Museum!" It was quite the enlightening experience.

2. At the end of August I'll take Sabbath time at Ring Lake Ranch (Dubois, WY) with Don Saliers studying and singing the Psalms. Then, in October, my colleague and I will do a sermon series on the Psalms. Very exciting!

3. I'm learning how to be the "pastor's spouse"... fair turn-around for my partner who practiced such for the past many years. At a Freedom Festival on July 4th, her church hosted a booth, and I (had the day off from my church, so) smiled and shared and was *mostly* a good partner (except for the "EZ-Up Incident"). Oh the agony!

4. I feel rather boring that I don't have more going on in my life. I'm hoping for some quiet for the rest of this summer--I don't really expect it, but I'm hopeful. The past several weeks have been a whirlwind, and I want to get my feet back on the ground. The duckies are here for smiles and encouragement.

5 Moments

2011-06-10T16:49:00.000-06:00

Quick-Play Friday Five (I’m at the Rocky Mountain Conference UCC Annual Meeting in SLC, UT, taking 5 for 5!)…five memorable moments of insight, discovery, awareness--from childhood or later, something you experienced or something you shared with someone else (read more at RGBP).

The first one that comes to mind is my ordination… when people removed their hands from my head/shoulders (I was kneeling during laying on of hands) and I stood, I felt as if my body were literally being pulled upward from the crown of my head—to the point that I remember thinking I was standing on my toes to keep up with the sense of pull. That experience led me to understand that this was not simply a symbolic act… I don’t know what it was, but it was “true.”
My first day and night of on-call as a student-chaplain in a hospital, I was called to the bedside of a dying man. He died before his one family member could arrive. I breathed with him until the end. When the family member arrived, I had to lead her to the morgue (a decent “viewing room,” but still), prepare his body, and pray with her. They were both Jewish, I was Christian, and I’d never experienced anything remotely interfaith before. That was the day I knew—with all my being—that I was being called to chaplaincy as a vocation. Thanks be to G-d.
The moment (it was a revelation!) that I realized I was intensely attracted to a woman. Within 24 hours of that moment I told the whole world (at least those people most important people in my world—best friend, subject of my attraction, parents, church mentor, etc.) that I was lesbian. Holy wow!
Singing at summer camp. There’s nothing better. Still! As a kiddo, I’d sing so hard I always lost my voice before the final campfire… and I was so very sad. It hurt that I couldn’t sing out with everyone else. It was then that I realized how much singing meant to my spirit; even if I do it poorly I don’t care, as long as I can sing my heart out. Now I know how to use my voice better, so there’s no stopping me (I also only go to camp for 3 days now rather than a week—that may help). J
That’s all I can think of quickly, and I need to get back to the gathering… but THANK YOU for this opportunity to remember….

Things that are GOOD in my life

2011-04-01T10:19:00.002-06:00

FF: Quick Pick Edition

(The RevGals offered this today) We're in the midst of 'it' and I'm hoping that it is not just me who is starting to get a bit overwhelmed. So for today I am asking for five quick picks of things that are good in your life. And as a bonus, 1 pick for a thing you could do without. If you want to describe them? Great. If not? That's fine too. Have a great weekend!

5 Quick Picks of Things That Are Good in My Life

Books—and the bookshelves in my new home that hold them—and the bookshelves in my office that hold them—and the library that I can borrow from while it holds them!
Colleagues—today I’m so thankful to have amazing people with whom I can theologize, disagree, sing, bounce ideas off, play, argue and love—all in one building! Names in particular: Barb, Hal, Sarah, Mark, David—ya’ll rock.
Equinox Brewery—okay, it may seem shallow, but this is where Jamie and I hold our weekly date-night-catch-up-on-what-happened-while-you-served-your-church-in-Laramie-and-I-ministered-in-Fort-Collins—and they simply have GREAT beer.
Walking—I’ve been saying “hello” to each crocus I see, slowing down and noticing what I haven’t “seen” before, feeling my body respond to the sun, wind, shade, sidewalk, grass…
Coffee—again, not so shallow as it seems, because this is what I crave as I sit and write each morning—a routine, a mug with a message and my pen—ritual and spiritual nourishment… along with caffeine J.

Bonus: The wind!

Springing Forth Friday Five

2011-03-18T10:21:00.000-06:00

Jan the RGBP posted: Whether we liked it or not, we all "sprang forward" with the change to daylight savings time in the USA this past Sunday. There is lightness and brightness slipping in as spring approaches, so let us consider what is springing forth in our lives right now.

Name 5 things that are springing forth, possibly including :

what you hope for –physical health and well-being… have not been keeping up with those since last May, so here is a hope!

what you dread –allergies… I think that’s the only possible dread I have this time of year (and hooray for drugs!)

what you observe –more energy in the people around me, kids out on our community green area, parents and neighbors hanging out too, lots of smiling spring faces

what is concrete –I have a new home and this is my first spring here… so I get to adventure into what it means to be a part of this community as planting gets started, etc.; and how often I’ll walk around town and onto the MANY bike paths!

what is intangible –hmmm… I just posted at In Praise of Sophia about

singing—the joy I get from it and how it is prayer for me—how I need to remember to do it much more often…

To FC, With Love

2011-02-19T10:05:00.000-07:00

I'm having some kind of new love affair with Fort Collins.

We're in our 7th year living here, but ever since we moved to the downtown area a couple months ago--where I can walk to most places that I enjoy in this town--I've been enamored of everything I see and encounter.

The people make me laugh with delight: walking home from work this week I freaked out 2 undergrads trying to hide their joint as I followed them through a hidden pathway; yesterday a skateboarder almost went head-on into a tree as he passed me wishing a good morning; and "gentleman" Liberty, with his dancing and swirling, kept dropping his tax sign on the side of the road!

Some of the images that make me smile in this big-little-town:

Cool streetlamp near Mason, where the train runs down the middle of the street

Fun & Silly Signs

New locally-owned coffee shop that I love

The train that I ran to beat over Mason Street....

....in my new red boots

Fave Verses Friday Five

2011-01-28T10:52:00.000-07:00

Fave Verses Friday Five

At RGBP Songbird shared…

Twenty years ago, I was on a Pastoral Search Committee, and one of the questions we asked the ten candidates we interviewed in the first round was to tell us their three favorite passages of scripture. I loved hearing the variety of verses quoted and even learned some that I didn't know, such as the last line of one of this week's lectionary passages:

He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8)

For today's Friday Five, list your five favorite passages/verses from the Bible and tell us something about why you love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I haven’t read anyone else’s posts yet, but I have a feeling my favorite passages are going to seem boring and typical—but they’re mine!

1. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God (John 1:1). The Logos is an aspect of Christ that I can comprehend with my mind and spirit. As a “word person,” this passage touches me where I live. It very strongly relates to #2 here.

2. In the beginning when God created… (Genesis 1:1) Creator God! Birthing God! Made in God’s image, we too are creative beings! “And God said…” evokes the Word—and how powerful are words to create reality (use them carefully).

3. Jesus began to weep (John 11:35). Having served as a hospital chaplain and now in ministry with strong pastoral care, I’ve learned there are times when all you can do is weep alongside the person who is mourning. Jesus’ presence with Lazarus’ siblings here, knowing the fullness of what they’re going through and being willing to enter their sorrow, reveals incredible compassion.

4. Make a joyful noise to YHWH, all the earth. Worship YHWH with gladness; come into God’s presence with singing (Psalm 100:1-2). I love hearing kids’ voices in worship. I love singing at the top of my lungs with joy, even when it’s off key, flat or whatever else one can do to sing badly. I often evoke this passage to remind people, “It doesn’t say make beautiful music; it says make a joyful noise!” If you are giving thanks to God, who cares what others think of the sound J.

5. Hear, O Israel: YHWH is our God, YHWH alone. You shall love YHWH your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might (Deuteronomy 6:4). I sing the Shema once in a while, honoring my Jewish heritage (which I didn’t know about until my early 20s) and Christianity’s foundation therein. Jesus’ rendering of this text is also one of my favorites, reminding us that loving our neighbors as ourselves is another form of loving God.

I If you're reading this and not blogging on RGBP, I'd love for you to post your own favorites for us to see in the comments! Blessings to all...

Fearsome Beasts

2011-01-26T13:32:00.000-07:00

Fearsome Beasts

(at the wild animal sanctuary)

So tame. I am the foreign creature

amidst these powerful paws and muscular jaws.

I am intruder to be watched, judged dangerous

yet safe behind high fences.

You, with your black eyes,

despise my gaze - a voyeur

one of many smelling too agitated.

You stay calm in your cage.

My breath quickens and my ancient animal self recalls you intimately.

Fearsome. Beautiful.

I am prey -

yet I pray for you.

Friday Five: BOOKS!

2011-01-21T11:38:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY FIVE: BIBLIOPHILES UNITE!!

(Over at RGBP, Jan offers…) I hope some of you received books for Christmas presents; I did and have been reading ever since. Then I discovered a new author from those recommendations that pop up on Amazon.com. Instead of buying those books, I've been checking them out at the library, which will not help Amazon's future recommendations for me at all.

So tell us what you're reading, what you would and would not recommend--five books or authors!

~~~~~

PERFECT TIMING! Our youth are having a book sale fundraiser this Sunday, and one of the bonuses of being in staff is that we get first perusal of the offerings! Last night (after the senior highs finished sorting), I spent quite a while over their efforts…

First book: I just finished reading Barbara Kingsolver’s Prodigal Summer (a tome I purchased at last year’s youth book sale—I wanted to get it back to the racks for a second go-round). A friend has been goading me to read some BK (her favorite author) for years, but I just couldn’t find the desire. Finally, on a deadline, I began…and couldn’t put it down. I hated it (at the beginning, mostly), because of the multiple, theme-driven, extensive heterosexual sex scenes. But VERY quickly I realized this was the whole meaning of "prodigal" that summer... BK's imagery and depth of sexual understanding of the natural world blew me away and couldn't keep me from continuing to read. And I fell in love with (most of) the characters.

Book two: In the “for sale” stacks were about 5 copies of Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston. How can people give that book away?!! Last year I purchased several copies to send to friends—it is one of my favorite books of all time, and I can read it over and over. Hurston has a way of drawing images that stay with you, and her understanding of and ability to capture the complications of life and spirituality illuminate some of my own experiences of the world.

Number three: I admit to being a fiction and poetry lover through and through. But I recently finished a newer biography of Emily Dickinson called Lives Like Loaded Guns (a reference to one of her poems). Again, this was a volume I couldn’t stop reading. It was as full of plot as any novel, and Lyndall Gordon explored new twists and interpretations of the people in Dickinson’s life (proposing that long-supposed friends really were not, and seeming enemies may have been true devotees). My only disappointment was that the book came to an end.

Fourth choice: I’m going off-lectionary in 2 weeks to preach another book that recently came to my attention: Sandy Sasso’s Cain and Abel: Finding the Fruits of Peace. Yes, it’s a children’s book that beautifully retells the violent and disturbing story from the Hebrew Bible—and every time I read it, tears flow. Joani Keller Rothenberg’s illustrations deserve as much meditation as the words Sasso has written. The ultimate message is that we all have anger, but how we use it makes the difference between engaging war or creating peace: it’s up to each of us. If you’ve ever given up on the Cain & Abel story, I highly recommend this book for its redemption.

And finally five: I posted a couple days ago on books for meditation… and I offer him again: Kilian McDonnell writes the most delightful, playful, faithful, accessible human poetry. He has 3 books (he started his poetry career in his 70s!), and I recommend each and every one of them: Yahweh’s Other Shoe; God Drops and Loses Things; and Swift, Lord, You Are Not.

….now, I’m off to see what other RevGals have recommended. You never know what may show up at this weekend’s book sale!!!

It's a Wonderful Life

2011-01-10T20:20:00.001-07:00

There has been much hard news this past month.

Family illness, debts, a dear one's suicide, and two kitties with different diseases making it seem they'd perish before the new year: all of this made me thankful when 2011 finally rang in. I've been feeling sorry for myself in some ways (not in others--I still live a luxurious life compared to most on this planet).

The Cone of Shame (on both kitties!)

Driving home from work tonight in the dark, I took a different route: through Old Town. Yesterday it snowed several inches, so the ground and the trees (and the cars) are all draped in winter's finery. It's 3º F, and people are still shopping, going to the theaters and eating out.

Most of all, I see the lights. Leftover Christmas lights. They wrap each tree on the median with star-shine--even though Epiphany has passed! They light my way through all my mediocre cares to a place I call home: warm, food-filled, companions all around, with two living, breathing cats and a partner who loves me. I noticed again how beautiful is this town that I get to live in. Work in. Play in. Serve in.

picture this.... but with snow

I begin the 7th year of my time here in Fort Collins, CO. Until 2010, I never really knew what it might look like truly to call a place "home" (having moved, in almost as many years, from NJ to PA to CA to CT to CO). But this is it. This is what "home" looks like. At least for now. And I couldn't be more grateful.

Sometimes I get caught up in the challenges before me, and I forget for a moment that I have the most amazing life. I don't know what 2011 will bring for me, but I know I get to be here, among loving, beautiful people in a town that has been voted one of the best places to live. So, thanks be to the Divine for all that is, and all that will be.

Happy New Year.

Giving In to Being THAT Person

2010-12-18T16:06:00.003-07:00

Merry Christmas!

Cat Ladies

Yes, after decades of swearing I'd never be the person who takes a Christmas photo with my pet, here we are on the steps of our new home, red and green flannels declaring the season.

But having come very close to losing the sweet, dopey lap kitty on the left only a week ago, it seems right for me to share the ways the furry ones enrich our lives.

These creatures are always present: loving beings who are aware of us constantly. They sense a change of mood, a change of tone, and respond with unconditional love (yes, they want food, too--don't you?!). Often people associate such traits with dogs only, but in each kitty I've been blessed with attentive and responsive affection, playfulness and a joy that only an animal can bestow.

We've had these two for 10 years. Who knows how much longer they'll be a part of our lives, but I give thanks that we have the opportunity to know such love as animals bring.

I hope you have also known that kind of joy!

Merry Christmas.

It is Well with My Soul

2010-11-05T11:30:00.000-06:00

Friday Five: It Is Well With My Soul Edition

kathrynzj offers today's FF, saying: We lead privileged lives.

True, some are more privileged than others but the fact that we are
communicating right now via technological devices puts us in the
privileged category.

There are many perks in my life for which I give thanks and then
there are some that make everything right in the world during the
moment I am enjoying them. I'm wondering what a few of those
things - five to be specific - are for you.

To help you along here are just three of mine that I will write more
about on my blog: drinking coffee out of a real mug, walking into my
home after the domestic goddess has been there, participating in
the RevGalBlogPals Big Events.

SUNSHINE--it is well with my soul when I am sitting in a big window
(or, if it's just the right temperature, outside) with sun shining full on
me. Mmmmm, soaking in that warmth and light heals my entire being,
including my soul.

WRITING--it is well with my soul when I have the time and space to write,
write well, and know I'll have a chance to share what I've put my whole
self into (e.g.: sermon-writing and preaching).

HOME--it is well with my soul when I am in the space that I call home.
When everything is in its place, and the things that lift my spirit surround
me, I can just be.

BATH TUB--it is well with my soul when I can "take a tubby"-warm water,
good book, nobody around and no to-do list.

DRIVING/SINGING--it is well with my soul when I can sing at the top of
my lungs with nobody around to hear the lyrics (and notes) that I make
up. Sad mood, joyful mood, angry mood, 'tude mood--singing!

...and my KITTERS and being able to lounge late in BED and spending
time with good FRIENDS and, without a doubt, whenever JAMIE and I
can just love each other...

Purple People of the Promise

2010-10-31T19:35:00.004-06:00

This month I wrote my church newsletter article on the bullying that has made the news recently. I felt the need to share it more broadly, so here it is:

Purple People of the Promise

I write this Placard article with a purple pen in a purple notebook wearing a purple shirt on a day when our nation has been encouraged to show PURPLE in support of all the bullied teens who have reached the point where they feel suicide to be their only option. This purple day was inspired by the teen suicide deaths—those many that made the news and those (far more) that did not—in September and October. Clearly, this is a topic that touches the core of my being.

I have had Plymouth members ask, “what can we do?” both to help stop the bullying that breaks down kids’ spirits and to support young people who experience bullying. It is such a multi-faceted problem that we often feel helpless—particularly if we aren’t parents, schoolteachers or counselors. But I believe we are more than any of those individual caregivers: we are the Church. We are a community of love and faith and dedication, and we are intentionally intergenerational. We can care for our kids.

As an Open & Affirming congregation, we have covenanted to enact a radical welcome to all who have experienced “second class” humanity—including children and youth. But what does that mean for us, and how can we live into it to be partners against the hurtfulness of society?

Each and every member of Plymouth has covenanted with each and every baptized child’s parent to “accept…responsibility as vehicles of grace to guide them by word and example into the fullest life of which you and they are capable,” and then we pray together: “May they develop trustful and responsible relationships with others and may they grow in their acceptance of themselves as unique and vital persons.” Practically speaking, how do we live into this promise that we—older and younger, parent and “extended faith family”—have made to our kids and youth?

By living our love for them in word and action. That looks like children’s Bibles in the pews and activities for them to read and color during worship so they can be with us, among us in all their squirming, crying, or bored energy! They are a part of our worshipping community. And it goes further than their presence (seen, but…)—it includes their participation in the passing of the peace and the prayers of the people. It’s their inclusion as ushers and liturgists and special music. But even more significant, it is our participation in their lives, not just their participation in our life!

It means saying YES when asked to give 3 hours (1 hour each over 3 Sundays) to share the gift of your love for them in a Sunday School Workshop—by dressing up as Abraham and anointing their foreheads with oil to show how very special each one is, or by baking hamantaschen with them while teaching the story of Esther’s choice to use her power to help people and Haman’s choice to use his power to make himself look better and to hurt others! It means saying YES when another adult is needed for a middle school event. It means knowing their names and chatting with them over coffee hour cookies—no matter how many they’ve grabbed from the plate. What a perfect opportunity to talk about your mutual love for Oreos! It’s your presence in their lives that reveals God’s love through you and this community.

Every adult in this congregation has a commitment to every child and teen present, to help him know he is special and loved. To let her know she is not just the “future of the church,” but a vital part of it now. YES! I am passionate about our youth and kids and their spiritual lives. Jesus himself said, “let them come to me, and do not hinder them.” You never know which teen with 10 cookies has been bullied and needs to be seen as a whole, beloved person. You never know which kid in the pew next to you has been bullying others on the school bus and also needs to be seen as a whole, beloved person. Your presence and revelation of God’s love matters to them—it matters to all our kids.

In passionate love for this purple promise,

Rev. Pink Dragon

Connecting

2010-10-15T12:10:00.001-06:00

Friday Five: Connecting

RGBP's Jan writes: I am currently reading Bowling Alone by

Robert D. Putnam, where he explores the changes in community

in the USA in the 20th Century. He explains how communities,

people, and especially children function better when they live

where there is high social capital. Basically, it means that

"relationships matter."

We all know this because Christianity (and other religions)

emphasize the Golden Rule: All things whatsoever ye would

that men should do to you, do ye so to them; for this is the law

and the prophets. Matthew 7:1

So here are some questions to ponder for this Friday Five about

connecting with:

1. Self: Who was your hero/heroine when you were about

ten years old? My ministers have always been heroes to me.

I'd look up to each of them in a different way (I can't recall who was the

minister at that particular time). A close second was probably Madonna

;-P.

2. Family: Who are you most like? Who is most like you?
Yesterday I was leading a Q&A following a presentation, and I heard

myself use a phrase that'd never before come from my mouth except

to tease my father for starting every explanation with it:

"Well, I'll tell ya...". I had to call and tell him of my slip :). Having said

that, I acknowledge that my mother and I are most alike--my partner

tells me I sound more and more like her each day. We're also

*extremely* different!
3. Friends: How do you stay in touch? I wish I were better at staying

in touch! My m.o. is to not talk for way too long, then get together a

couple times each year to catch up. Every once in a while we'll email

or send a letter, but otherwise... :(

4. Neighborhood, community: What are ways you like to be

involved? Cafés!! I love to to be present in gathering places

where people meet and connect and move on into their days.

Especially places where I can become a regular (Norm!) and

always see new people.

5. Job/church: Do you see a need that will help in developing

connections? Deep, long-lasting spiritual practices would be a

great addition. I'd love to help people create community around

particular styles of prayer, meditation, reading, etc. We do a little bit,

and the opportunities are growing. Helping people recognize their

need for these connections--that's my challenge!

Bonus link: Cheers Theme Song

A Fall Word Association Friday Five

2010-10-08T10:44:00.005-06:00

A Fall Word Association Friday Five

(SingingOwl says...) Hello
everyone! The Canadian
geese are excited, forming
up and practicing,
encouraging each other with
honking, the Wisconsin
fall color is at peak where I
am, and in Kohl's Dept.
Store the Christmas
decorations are up. Yep,
Fall is here. It's my
turn to do the Rev Gal Blog Pals
Friday Five. It has been a while
since we did one of these word association Friday FIves, so here goes,
with an autumnal theme. I know, fall is one way on this side of the world
and different in other places, but please bear with me as I post words
that say FALL--at least where I am.

Give us the the first word that comes to mind (you know how that works, right?)
and then add a little something about why, or how or what.

Well, it seems my answers are all typical.... oh well!

1. Pumpkins - gooey (of course, because sticking your hand inside when carving a jack-o-lantern! I can never decide if I love the feeling or hate it... until it has dried on my fingers---uck!)

2. Campfire - smell (as in the wonderful smell of woodsmoke -- today would be a perfect campfire day)

3. Apples - crunch (yum!)

4. Color - orange (even though I live in Colorado where the Aspen all turn yellow, the only color for the season is orange... pumpkins & halloween)

5. Halloween - costumes (mostly of the headless, goblin-y, blood-sucking sort... fairy princesses never seemed right for the holiday)
And since it is REV Gals and their Pals, here is the bonus question, sort of a serious one:

What does the following passage from Daniel 2 make you think about?

"Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;
Wisdom and power are his...
He changes times and seasons."

My first thought upon reading this was to recall the familiar passage from Ecclesiastes: to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. Some wisdom that I always need to remember.

Thanks for a great F5!

Praying Twice

2010-09-24T10:05:00.001-06:00

Friday Five: We Who Sing Pray Twice

Mary Beth at RGBP shares: Music is a part of the human experience, and part of religious traditions the world over. It is evocative and stirring, and many forms of worship are incomplete without it.

Our title comes from a quote popularly attributed to St. Augustine: "He who sings prays twice." A little Googling, however, indicates that Augustine didn't say exactly that. In fact, what he said just doesn't fit well onto a t-shirt. So we'll stick with what we have.

"Singing reduces stress and increases healthy breathing and emotional expression. Singing taps into a deep, age-old power available to all of us. When we find our voice, we find ourselves. Today, sing like you mean it." And let's talk about the role music plays in your life and worship.

1) Do you like to sing/listen to others sing? In worship, or on your own (or not at all?) Singing is life. Okay, that may be a bit strong - but when I'm happy, when I'm miserable, when I'm pissed off singing gets me through. I'm no great voice, but I have to sing. Listening to music doesn't do it for me - even music without words, I have to sing along to!
2) Did you grow up with music in worship, or come to it later in life? Tell us about it, and how that has changed in your experience. Hymns were and continue to be holy for me. Being a word person, theologically astute lyrics mean a lot, so that has changed since childhood. Poetic and "smart" lyrics also factor big in my appreciation.
3) Some people find worship incomplete without music; others would just as soon not have it. Where do you fall? MUST SING - music is great and a perfect means of setting a theme through sound, so I experience it as necessary to worship - but if I can't sing, too, it often feels superfluous (NOT to many of my church members, though!).
4) Do you prefer traditional music in worship, or contemporary? That can mean many different things! I prefer hymns, and I enjoy some Taizé and other chanted music (which I consider contemporary); I love when the choir bursts out with classical texts, but again, I want to at least hum (badly) along.
5) What's your go-to music ... when you need solace or want to express joy? A video/recording will garner bonus points! Indigo Girls are always my go-to music (as I've expressed here numerous times); but lately, Brandi Carlisle and Pink feed my own "bursting" side.
I keep trying to reconcile "why one form of music in one setting, and another form in a different setting?" (the question people ask as they argue for rock, etc in worship)... but I think I NEED both! And I don't use hymns in my everyday, because, for me, they are communal, corporate, only among my faith family - and they travel with me from one faith community to another, so that I can often find "home" wherever I may go. THANKS FOR A GREAT F5!!

Wine Tasting

2010-08-23T09:44:00.001-06:00

Wine Tasting

A local elder grins as he toasts

our visit to the coast: “You can come

golfing with us tomorrow!” I think,

not even mini-golf and toss back

his grandfatherly attempts at flirting.

She lifts her glass to mine

as we smile ten years’ worth of

veterinary visits, cross country moves

and intermittent therapy.

Here’s to us in paradise.

Telephones Suck

2010-08-16T15:06:00.002-06:00

Telephones Suck

I could call.

But you know, calling ought to

mean, “Meet me at Café Ardour”

or “wanna make me that dynamite

chana masala? I’ll bring the Pinot Gris.”

I would call.

But how can I distill my

latest adventure into sentences

with periods? How can you study

my face and inquire, “why that wrinkle?”

I should call.

But how many times

have we scolded, “Don’t

should!” So you would expect

nothing more or less of me—me.

I won’t call.

But I will let you (and the world)

know how much I miss you

and wish you

were here.

Atlantic City, NJ

2010-06-15T06:41:00.001-06:00

It's been great toodling around NJ/PA this past week as a renewal aspect of sabbatical. I've reconnected with long-time friends and particularly with family.

The past few days Mom and I have been relaxing together at the ocean in Atlantic City. Yes, we tried to gamble... but the machines no longer take anything less than a $5 bill :).

Here is the lucky nickel I offered up to Mr. Trump:

And when we gave up on gambling, Mom and I sat and talked

(about sex, religion, politics, family - all the easy topics)

over a drink on the beach.

Here's to enjoying the Jersey Shore once more!

It really has been renewing.

Hooray for Buckle Shoes!

2010-05-14T15:57:00.001-06:00

Can you remember getting new shoes as a child? It happened more often in those days, as our young feet kept growing (mine have remained the same size for some time now – which brings both relief and a twinge of regret).

I clearly remember the sorrow I felt on the day when “buckle shoes” no longer came in the size of my continually growing feet. It may have been heading into Easter, when a new dress and new shoes were imminent, and Mom had to inform me, “big girls don’t wear buckle shoes.” *gasp* (tears ensued).

Well, heading into middle age, I feel thoroughly joyful that I can again feel the giddiness of slipping on a pair of mary janes… in a much better variety of styles and colors than when I was 8!

Hooray for buckle shoes!!

17 Days 'Til Sabbatical Creativity as a Way of Encountering the Divine

2010-05-12T19:22:00.003-06:00

images by Mary Southard; written word by... me!

Faith & Politics Friday Five

2010-05-07T15:19:00.001-06:00

Faith & Politics

It's been a while since I've played, but here goes...

Over at RGBP, Sally writes: Well it may or may not have escaped the notice of many that over in the UK we have been awaiting the results of the General Election.... it has been the most closely fought election for many years, and the result... a hung or balanced Parliament, with no outright winner... and it has got everybody talking...

So what do you think about the mix of faith and politics:

1. Jesus a political figure: discuss...

Without a doubt – by intention or not, he engaged people in a faith that lived among, responded to and, yes, fought against the political agendas of his day.

2. Politics in the pulpit, yes or no and why?

Yes (not all the time), when used in direct relation to a theological concern, and with discernment and acknowledgement that there will be members of the congregation who disagree, and the humility that we may not always be right… even if we believe we are at the moment.

3.What are your thoughts on the place of prayer in public life…

To each her own. I pray, but I don’t need to do it where others will hear me. And yet, I will happily pray aloud in public when a situation calls for it. I still cannot pretend to know how to engage the unique differences of individuals’ styles of prayer in public forum – I would not wish to be subjected to some others’ prayers. Great question; will have to ponder more…

4.Is there a political figure, Christian or otherwise that you admire for their integrity?

Karen Armstrong jumps to mind. Have you all seen her Charter for Compassion? And Joan Chittister never ceases to amaze me.

5.I’m skipping #5 and going right for the bonus (just can’t think about it today)

Bonus- is there a song which might sum this all up?

Let It Be Me by the Indigo Girls

Sticks and stones

battle zones

a single light bulb on a single thread for the black

sirens wail

history fails

rose-colored glass begins to age and crack

while the politicians shadowbox the power ring

in an endless split decision never solve anything

from a neighbor's distant land

i heard the strain of the common man

let it be me (this is not a fighting song)

let it be me (not a wrong for a wrong)

let it be me, if the world is night

shine my life like a light

well the world seems spent

and the president has no good idea of who the masses are

well i'm one of them and

i'm among friends

trying to see beyond the fences of our own backyard

i've seen kingdoms blow like ashes in the winds of change

but the power

of truth is the fuel for the flame

so the darker the ages get

there's a stronger beacon yet

let it be me (this is not a fighting song)

let it be me (not a wrong for a wrong)

let it be me, if the world is night

shine my life like a light

in the kind word you speak

in the turn of the cheek

when your vision stays clear in the face of your fear

then you see turning off a light switch is their only power

when we stand like spotlights in a mighty tower

all for one and one for all

then we sing the common call

let it be me (this is not a fighting song)

let it be me (not a wrong for a wrong)

let it be me,

if the world is night shine my life like a light

A Minister Challenges God (On a Bad Day)

2010-04-21T19:43:00.007-06:00

I wrote this as I prepare for Jamie's ordination this coming Sunday. One of the texts she has chosen is Mark 10:35-45 -- when Jesus states, "if you will be great, you must be servant of all."

A Minister Challenges God
(On a Bad Day)

You have dragged me to this hell
called your Church.
What a joke!
The servants abuse and misuse.
Their humility is suspect (I should know).
Ego rules rather than
your words - The Word! - and "if you will be great
you must be servant of all."
Indeed!
Servant to this pigtailed little girl
with cookie crumbs on her chin
and Sunday School glitter littering the carpet?
Servant to the incomprehensible schizophrenic
jabbering conspiracy this close
to my nose?
Servant to the adolescent
eyerolling and impudent
sniggering behind my robed back?
Not me!
I have been called.
I have been set apart.

The Language of God

2010-04-16T07:24:00.005-06:00

Some people wonder how I can be a part of the Christian tradition.
Some people wonder how I am allowed to be a minister within the
United Church of Christ.
Well, here is an answer to both of those questions:

The Language of God is

compassion, love, justice, and praise

FOR ALL PEOPLE.

view the Language of God
as imaged by the UCC

Peter and the Risen Christ

2010-04-15T10:02:00.010-06:00

FORGIVENESS

John 21:1-19

Does he not desire

forgiveness?

Does he not believe in

forgiveness?
Not for himself.

He has returned to the sea –

the familiar,

unpredictable waves and

fickle fish.

“I am not a

fisher of the human soul!

I cannot even keep my own intact.”

He mourns.

And he tries to

forget

his failures.

So many

failures.

From the bright

future

of the call, “Come;

follow me”

to the assurance, “You are Petros – the rock!”

he actually thought he could be more than a

fisherman

with empty nets.

Yet here to Galilee

he has returned…

and his nets are,

once again,

empty.

Flying through the waves

onto the beach,

he begs no

forgiveness at all – do you notice? –

he makes no excuses for himself, though he knows he has

failed.

Yet he

breakfasts with the Risen One.

Fish that never touched his net steam over a

beachfire.

And Jesus speaks of love. Simple, right?

Never once does he mention

denial. So Peter (still in denial?),

earnest and

uncomprehending,

affirms

his love.

The Adventures of Coffee Cat (for KT)

2010-04-02T17:16:00.003-06:00

Holy Week.
It's been a rough week (I know, I know, it was rougher for Jesus), so I decided to take myself on an un-holy, lazy afternoon with Coffee Cat.
Here is what we did.

We headed out...

to find some caffeine at the usual places...

but sadly, Plymouth only had decaf shots! So we continued our search...

and first passed by Starbucks (too corporate for a wandering day like today)...

then Cups (because Kendra wasn't there)...

and we settled in at Cuppy's (where I'd never been before!). After hanging out for a while, Coffee Cat was wired...

so we went to work off the caffeine at Rolland Moore Park. Coffee Cat exhausted himself...

so he slipped into his cat carrier. I had errands to run...

which Coffee Cat didn't mind sharing...

and he even brought a catnip treat home to share.

It was a good day.

Spring!

2010-03-29T16:32:00.009-06:00

A Depression Lifted
3-25-10

Hear Persephone’s birds

piping her joy

at having returned to

play in the sun.

Caressing each blade

of grass she bestows

more intimacy than

Hades ever knew in

his death’s dominion.

What new hell he may

devise come autumn

is far, far from her

springing thoughts.

Image: Persephone's Summer Vacation by Think Tank Creative

Friday Five: Redo, Refresh, Restore

2010-03-26T08:44:00.001-06:00

over at RGBP, Songbird shared…

We're in the thick of it in church life as we approach the end of Lent. Palm Sunday and Holy Week await. In the midst of this busy-ness, I undertook a little redecorating here at RevGalBlogPals and found a new template for us.

It's the sort of task I like in the middle of chaos, a chance to redo something, to refresh the way I feel, to restore some sense of order. Please share with us five ways you redo or refresh or restore your body, your space, your blog, anything in your life that needs perking up this week.

1. When I’m feeling chaotic at work, I like to redo the bulletin boards in our fellowship hall. Tearing down old notices and the background paper; bordering and ordering – it leaves me with a visual sense of accomplishment and an aesthetic appreciation for color and composition (in other words: less chaos!).

2. There is nothing nothing nothing like a hot bath to renew my body - winter or summer.

3. Going for a drive completely refreshes my mind. I put on loud music and sing along at the top of my voice. It releases everything that has collected inside me.

4. Write. Again, it renews my spirit by erasing all that is within and getting it on paper. Sometimes it’s beautiful, and sometimes it simply needs to be tossed into the trash. But I’m renewed.

5. Sit in the sunshine. This should probably be my number 1. I often follow my 2 cats around – as they can find the sunniest spots in the house – and then kick them out of the tiniest patch of light. Or I’ll wait for a window seat at the coffee shop. Or head into my boss’s office where the light is best. Anything to soak it in.

Just Because...

2010-03-04T16:10:00.002-07:00

Apropos of nothing, I am posting this GREAT picture by my dear friend Kendra.

Maybe I like the raindrops.

Maybe I miss her.

Maybe I want a beer.

Maybe a cave sounds good.

Who can discern the random workings of my brain!

Meditation on Ashes

2010-02-23T17:19:00.004-07:00

Ash Wednesday

2-2010

I close my eyes

against dust

pressed

into my forehead.

Close them

against the reality of death.

Yet Christ has conquered

death –

what shall I fear?

These:

actions and inactions –

the ways I bring death

in so many little ways

each day.

I fear this brokenness

in me

in you;

so I squeeze them

shut.

And all

can see

the ash

but me.

Ten Years!

2010-02-11T21:05:00.000-07:00

It is beyond my comprehension that Jamie and I have been together for 10 years... but here we are.
I give thanks for every day.

Zen Zone

2010-02-05T17:13:00.003-07:00

Zen Zone - Comfy Corner - Peaceful Place - My At-Home-Getaway...

I've switched around some space in order to hear better my creative muse (space? hearing? how do they go together? synesthesia! love that word!!! maybe that's my Muse's name? yes!).

Anyway, moved stuff around and played with other stuff and - voilá! second bedroom becomes my writing /creative space.

my writing space!

including the collage I'm using as inspiration

books! books! books!

have I mentioned I love books?

this includes journals

again, writing space - this time with carved st. cecilia (by one of my church members)

she's the patron saint of poets (among other things)!

same again with prayer shawl

I love this spot

some goddess pieces, 2 journals I collaged, and my dragon candle with "wand" (stick)

ye olde Collage Closet

...

Haven't gotten a good pic of my Knitting Nook (aka, where I sit in a corner in a comfy pleather chair and read/journal/knit/etc)

Kendra has also created creative space this week!

"God"... a boy's name?

2010-01-27T15:53:00.007-07:00

I know, I know, I'm a broken record (but some folks have never heard the song).
Josephine, over at Left Turn at Joy!, has put into words many of my own thoughts that I'm not able to clarify (I keep trying!). In her post God is not a boy's name, she offers this piece regarding what the church can do.

She says:

For the sake of my sisters, I can no longer tiptoe over language, afraid of offending someone. One of the amazing people who works at the shelter where I have spent time asked me what I thought the church could do to help. There are many, many things that we as followers of the one who refused to stone a woman to death should be doing. But the most important perhaps, is to begin to reshape the language that shapes the minds of our children.

....The way we speak about God in our churches and our homes is not just a conversation, it is applied theology. It shapes our understanding, or stories, our metaphors, even the lens through which we view the world. It sends a thousand unspoken messages.

If what we speak is inclusion, and equality, but the words we use say the opposite we send, at best, a mixed message. More likely we say "this is what we say, but secretly that is what we believe." We may say God is beyond gender, we may say God created both men and women in God's own image, but if we speak of God as only He, as only Father, then the truth is, we have assigned God a masculine gender.

She offers so much more about this, so please visit her and read the rest of the post. It echoes this sermon and (deep breath for sharing such an intimate piece) these thoughts...

GOD

I need the Father
            I need the connection that Jesus knew –
            his immanent and intimate relationship with
                        Abba –
Papa.
            I need him, too.

I need the King
            I need his absolute authority over my life
            (although I tend to rebel – don’t you?)
                        his protection and care
which balance my utter dependence.
            I need him, too.

I need the Lord
            My allegiance only to him
            my devotion and faithfulness to the One beyond all earthly
                        lords
                        governments
                        loyalties.
            I need him, too.

Father – King – Lord
            he continues to comfort, encourage, challenge
                        me
                        and you!
            He is strong and determined to keep me
            and my 21^st century kin
            from falling prey to powers and principalities
            that strive for more and more
                        life
                        will
                        desire
                        –our very souls.
I need the Father-Lord-King of All.

AND

I need the Mother
            her warm breast nourishing my hunger
            her bleeding womb fertile with creative energy
            her intuitive wisdom shared over baked, broken and buttered bread.
I need her long, unbound hair that identifies me
            as beloved daughter in her image
I need her flowing skirt harboring openness and freedom for my sex
I need her Name spoken with love
            and her love spoken with joy
I need the Mother,
my God –
God of All.

images from top to bottom: George Burns in "O God!", Morgan Freeman in "Bruce Almighty", "The Treasure Within" by Mary Southard, CSJ (at ministryofthearts.com)

"The Issue of Homosexuality..."

2010-01-24T19:21:00.006-07:00

I am not an issue.

My life is not an issue.

My wife is not an issue.

My family is not an issue.

My ministry to God and Christ and the Church is not an issue.

None of this is an issue!

What is an issue is

your discomfort with your body

your discomfort with sexual conversation

your discomfort with God's extravagance in Creation.

Your discomfort is the issue.

I am not an issue.

Words for the Heart

2010-01-15T21:43:00.002-07:00

I hadn't realized I'd not followed the "rules" to post the party on my blog - oh dear! I'm belated and befuddled and (almost) done with a sorrowful sermon for Sunday. With all of that on my heart, I decided to finally post "Words for the Heart." Thanks to CVP for her ministry at the Abbey (and I promise to invite ya'll to the next party).

Invitation to Poetry: Words for the Heart

January 11, 2010 · by Christine

Welcome to our Poetry Party #43!

I select an image and suggest a theme/title and invite you to respond with your poems or other reflections.

Poetry Party Theme: Words for the Heart

I was so moved by the response to my New Year’s call for words to shape your commitments for the future. I loved the power that each word offered, how a whole world of hope was wrapped up in just a few letters.

My invitation to you for this week’s Poetry Party is to write a poem using only the words in the image (or variations of them) and connecting words such as and, the, is, etc. (and maybe a pronoun or two). You don’t have to use all 132 of them, but spend some time with them and see how they want to come together. You can click on the image below to enlarge it. If you didn’t submit your own word yet, consider choosing one and making it the title.

(you can see a larger version of the word art by clicking here)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My (Sharon's) contribution:

SABBATICAL

Sing, Wisdom!

Nurture serenity

shed pain

order light-and-dark authenticity

on this threshold journey.

Freefalling, we surrender sanctuary

for spaciousness

discipline for courage

sacrifice for radiant lightness.

Grounded, we abandon victorious paradigms

for flexibility

humility

joyful trust.

Dance, Ruach!

Blaze wonder through these openings

and carve a bold YES!

in this unfolding pilgrimage.

Release an adventure.

If...

2010-01-15T15:52:00.000-07:00

It's later in the day for this Friday Five (offered by Jan over at RGBP), but I simply couldn't pass this one up! After some strenuous sermon-prep this morning, "if" is something I'd like to play with...
1. If you were a color, what would you be?
This week, I think I'd like to be be pink (see bonus)!
2. If you were a flower (or plant), what would you be?
I long to be a sunflower, face smiling toward sun's rays, tall and stretching my stalk to the sky.

3. If you were an animal, what kind would you be?

Having noted that kitties tend to find the best, most sunshiney places to nap then stretch to full length tip-to-tail and curl up again, I have to go with: feline.
4. If you were a shoe, what type would you be?
An old standard birkenstock with back strap (so I can walk quickly, if needed) - so comfy and easy and versatile (skirt, jeans, shorts, sweats).
5. If you were a typeface, which font would you be?

Filosofia Grand Bold (I’m beautiful and readable and not very stand-behind-the-scenes… yet thoughtful and a bit old-fashioned).

Bonus: Anything connected with metaphors that you'd like to contribute.

INDELICATE
"Nice iPod," he laughs
as he takes control deejaying.
"It's pink!"

Pink - he thinks - is the bubble-gum-cheeked child
learning to lower her lashes.
Pink is the delicate petal, fair blooms
pulled apart by "he loves me nots".
Pink is the paleness
not-strong-enough-to-be-red.

So he thinks.
But

Pink granite
defines the labyrinth's boundaries--
the maze that upholds a hero's quest.
Pink vocals
demand attention with
"so what, I'm a rock star" confidence.
Pink dragon's breath
spirals with mystical wisdom,
burning hot but not singeing.
Pink freedom--
flirty and fun--
dances from my favorite linen skirt.
Pink
is an exclamation
point!

"Nice iPod," he laughs -- and I laugh with him.
(poem reposted from August 09)

Dreaming Friday Five

2010-01-08T10:13:00.000-07:00

Over at RGBP, Sophia writes: "...With the beginning of a new calendar year many of us are engaging with dreams of another kind: planning, brainstorming, setting intentions or resolutions, etc. And many churches will celebrate the baptism of Jesus this Sunday, reading the Gospel account of his vision of the Holy Spirit as a dove and the "beloved child" words of Godde that set him off on his mission sharing Godde's dream for the world. So let's take a few minutes on this (where I am at least) lovely snow-blanketed Friday morning and share about the many different dreams and visions in our lives."

1. Do you tend to daydream?
I don't think I do ... is that odd?
2. Do you usually remember your night dreams? Do you find them symbolic and meaningful or just quirky?
I can go through phases of remembering with great clarity then not even knowing that I dream. I'm in the process of leaving the latter phase and entering the realm of "bits and pieces" recall. And yes, I find dreams full of meaning, when I take the time to reflect on them.
3. Have you ever had a life changing dream which you'll never forget?
Absolutely! It occurred in the summer of 1993, and I consider it my "call" to ministry; it was also very much a "born again" experience, even though my theology doesn't usually connect with that language.
4. Share a long term dream for one or more aspects of your life and work.
I've actually been struggling to discern my long-term dreams. One thing I desire for my entire life and work, however, is true and enduring HAPPINESS. Always.
5. Share a dream for 2010....How can we support you in prayer on both the short and long term dreams?
Sabbatical! I'd never dreamed that I could do such a crazy thing as taking 3 months away from all work to renew with things I love! Writing, reading, poetry and prayer. Thank you thank you thankyou, Creator!!

Bonus: a poem, song, artwork, etc. that deals with dreams in general or one of your dreams.
This isn't quite fitting for my reflections, BUT the thought, "what dreams may come?" has been on my mind every morning this week as I wake from dreams! Shakespeare does wonders with philosophical questioning. :)
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
      Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
      The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
      Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
      And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
      No more; and by a sleep to say we end
      The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
      That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
      Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
      To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
      For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
      When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
      Must give us pause: there's the respect
      That makes calamity of so long life;
      For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
      The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
      The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
      The insolence of office and the spurns
      That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
      When he himself might his quietus make
      With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
      To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
      But that the dread of something after death,
      The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
      No traveller returns, puzzles the will
      And makes us rather bear those ills we have
      Than fly to others that we know not of?
      Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
      And thus the native hue of resolution
      Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
      And enterprises of great pitch and moment
      With this regard their currents turn awry,
      And lose the name of action.-- Soft you now!
      The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
      Be all my sins remember'd.

Waters of Love (repost)

2010-01-05T09:50:00.000-07:00

In honor of the upcoming Baptism of Christ Sunday, I offer this piece from last January. Remember your baptism... it is good, and you are beloved.

~~~

Waters of Love

Genesis 1:1-5 and Mark 1:4-11

Life begins in the waters of creation.

The void. The deep. And the spirit of God swept over the face of the waters –

first creating one-celled,

then multiple-celled,

and eventually the endless numbers of intricately-evolved organisms

that populate the earth today.

And God called it good, beloved.

Life begins in the waters of creation.

The womb. We’ve all been there. Floating in the watery sac of amniotic fluid,

we each grew from 2 cells,

to multiple organs,

to the wondrously complicated being that sits in the pew

next to your neighbor: you.

And God called you good, beloved.

Life begins in the waters of creation.

The Jordan River. The place where Jesus stepped out of the waves and into his mission and ministry.

Growing from one Word of love,

to multiple acts of justice,

into an infinite call for each person to follow… into new life.

And God called the baptism good, and God’s child beloved.

The Deep.

The Womb.

The Jordan.

New life begins in the waters of creation.

And the new life is good.

Beloved.

Sing a New Song!

2009-12-24T11:44:00.001-07:00

The process of creating my final Advent sermon this season has inspired me to sing – sing badly and happily all those Christmas songs I generally cringe at from a theological perspective. Always the contradiction! Here is a bit of what has emerged from that sermon.

May Christmas bless you with the depths of connection to All That Is.

Sing a New Song!

Like Mary sang anew

the old, old hymn of Hannah

Like Isaiah drew new depths

from Moses’ song of salvation

Like this voice gives new voice

to cherished carols, sacred carols,

God’s Word

sings

creative energies

fertile

and ready to gestate

her next wonder.

(Mary's song - Luke 1; Hannah's song - 1 Samuel 2; Isaiah's song - Isaiah 12; Moses' song - Exodus 15)

Friday Night

2009-12-19T15:34:00.001-07:00

Friday night with friends - how could it get any better?

Scissors!!!

I hadn't made a paper snowflake since elementary school, and my first try last night turned out, well, elementary. But with Maria's artistic inspiration, I soon learned to wield my weapon with much more fluidity. (Jamie and John refrained from participating in the paper party - they were snowflake flakes).

The results were beautiful against the morning sky.

Close Encounters... with a Grapefruit

2009-12-12T11:10:00.001-07:00

We all know that grapefruits come in their own, prepackaged, perfectly sized, biodegradable bowls,

but have you ever really looked at the interior of a grapefruit?

I did this morning - and it's both weird/creepy as well as amazingly textured, miniature and kinda pretty.

I'd never bothered to really look, but today I realized that there are thousands of tiny, bursting water (citrus) balloons filling every grapefruit. Little pearls of squishy, explosive, worm-like threads (gross!) that made me pause in awe at their intricate design, laugh out loud at their ability to shoot their juiciness across the room like milk from a cow's teat, and squirm in discomfort at the idea of eating a see-through (lifeless) grub. All of this with breakfast! It should be a good day.

Do Nothing! Friday Five

2009-12-04T09:31:00.001-07:00

Friday Five... Do Nothing Edition

Thanks to Sally for this Friday Five! I am reading a wonderful little book for Advent it's title: "Do nothing Christmas is Coming!" So this week's Friday Five is simple: List Five things you won't be doing to prepare for Christmas. And while you are doing nothing play the bonus, put your feet up and listen to your favourite Advent Carol, and post it or a link to it...
Simple!

Oh such a freeing FF! (It almost feels like I'm making resolutions). And yet, this is really hard for me, rather than simple. Makes me think....

I will NOT be buying/decorating a huge tree - which is a huge relief, this year.

I will NOT be packing bags and going anywhere, and no one is unpacking their bags in our guest room - Christmas is going to be a relaxing week.

I will NOT be purchasing a lot of gifts - I'm going to use my creativity to make everything I can for dear ones!

I will NOT deconstruct and apologize for my sentimental choices to sing along with favorite Christmas music from my childhood (even though it represents theological understandings I can't agree with and/or ridiculous silliness that makes no sense whatsoever).

I will NOT lament any of the above when Christmas finally arrives!

Bonus: I am now sitting with my feet up and enjoying my favorite Advent carol - the ever wonderful O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.

Fearsome Beasts

2009-12-02T12:20:00.003-07:00

Just northeast of Denver there is a Wild Animal Sanctuary. Lions and tigers and bears... and leopards and wolves and emus and coatimundis, oh my! Each of these creatures has been rescued - either from people who thought they would make good pets or from the circus, etc. - and given safe space to roam. The experience of seeing such beautiful beasts cared for right in my backyard was beyond breathtaking.

So tame. I am the foreign creature

amidst these powerful paws and muscular jaws.

I am intruder to be watched, judged dangerous

yet safe behind high fences.

You, with your black eyes,

despise my gaze - a voyeur

one of many smelling too excited.

You stay calm in your cage.

My breath quickens and my ancient animal self recalls you intimately.

Fearsome. Beautiful.

I am prey -

yet I pray for you.

~~~

On a different yet similar note, this past Sunday was the beginning of Advent - a time when we prepare for the coming of Christ. The scripture texts spoke both of the first coming (as a child) and of what has been called the "second" coming. In preparing for my sermon, I stumbled again across William Butler Yeats' poem "The Second Coming" - which I found both disturbing and resonant and, yes, even hopeful. I offer it for yet another "fearsome beast" reflection.

THE SECOND COMING (1920) by William Butler Yeats
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Thanksgiving Prep FF

2009-11-20T10:12:00.008-07:00

Oh, it's the perfect Friday Five for me today. I believe I'm experiencing the mullygrubs - Mom and Dad finished their annual visit yesterday, the holidays are closing in with no family again this year, and a general mully-grubbiness has latched on... so here comes the cure via FF!
Lying around all day
with some strange new deep blue
weekend funk, I'm not really asleep
when my sister calls
to say she's just hung up
from talking with Aunt Bertha
who is 89 and ill but managing
to take care of Uncle Frank
who is completely bed ridden.
Aunt Bert says
it's snowing there in Arkansas,
on Catfish Lane, and she hasn't been
able to walk out to their mailbox.
She's been suffering
from a bad case of the mulleygrubs.
The cure for the mulleygrubs,
she tells my sister,
is to get up and bake a cake.
If that doesn't do it, put on a red dress.

--Ginger Andrews (from Hurricane Sisters)

So this Friday before Thanksgiving, think about Aunt Bert and how she'll celebrate Thanksgiving! And how about YOU?

1. What is your cure for the "mulleygrubs"?
Love. Being around people who love me and whom I love. Friends, family, other loving people.
2. Where will you be for Thanksgiving?
We still haven't figured this out yet. Has anyone experienced some "alternative" options for the holiday that may be fun and meaningful? We're thinking of volunteering somewhere to serve food, but the local options are always swamped with volunteers. Other thoughts...?
3. What foods will be served? Which are traditional for your family?
All the familiar Thanksgivingy stuff are our traditions... but one year Jamie and I tried going to a Southern restaurant as an "alternative" :). It didn't work out so well for a holiday-feel.
4. How do you feel about Thanksgiving as a holiday?
Tough question! It is so many-layered and challenging. I tend to celebrate it as a secular U.S. holiday, a time for traditions and families and gratitude (to the Holy, of course, since that's my framework). I struggle with the historical conquest of native peoples, so if we celebrate publicly I try to honor that truth amidst giving thanks.
5. In this season of Thanksgiving, what are you grateful for?
Everything! I have been blessed with a wonderful spouse, a great job, a beautiful (rented) home and fun and loving cats. I have enough to eat, a warm bed and friends who care. I am healthy. My life is a veritable cornucopia of good things - what could I not be grateful for?!! (begone, mullygrubs!)

~~~

The mullygrubs have almost conquered

my spirit

trying to pull me

down into earth-bound disdain for

feeling

Grumpy-angry-old-woman-choice

to groan and diminish or grow and finish

life

on the ups.

It is a choice, she croons in my defensive ear

it is a way of seeing the is-ness of it all.

What all,

I wonder impertinent

and prayerful

that she will convince me

won't stop at the roadblocks I throw into her path

to my shyly-peeking-open-soul-door.

keep coming, don't stop, hurdle the concrete barrier of my pain

and sweep the door open with Spirit-powered wind

hushing words

silently tucking themselves into my psyche's bedding

ready to sleep, and dream, and never

ever

fear

Visitations...

2009-11-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

...and I do not mean angelic.

I think the photograph depicts quite clearly the nature of the visitation. One face is calling out for help; the other is expressing direct disdain for the whole situation. Neither one is accustomed to having the other around: Puck enjoys the quiet of living a more monk-like existence (Mom tends to be more boisterous), and Mom doesn't generally go in for cats sitting on her lap (or on the couch, or even the carpet, for that matter).

As for me, I think periodic changes and challenges to our familiar surroundings or ways of living are good for us. Not preferred, naturally, but growthful. Heaven help us all!
:P

Bud-wise-errrr

2009-11-14T20:25:00.005-07:00

I've lived in Fort Collins for 5 years, and today was the first time I've ever been to the Budweiser brewery. The tasting room was cozy - of all things, I didn't expect warm atmosphere, a working fireplace and a great view of the mountains. If you visit northern Colorado, I recommend the tour (alongside the many micro-breweries here). My parents were particularly enamored of the clydesdales... I liked the commercials, past and present, since I don't have TV.
:)

New New NEW!

2009-11-06T09:25:00.020-07:00

I always look forward to the Friday Five - especially when I can be so very RANDOM!

Songbird's invitation...

***Friday Five: What's New?

There's a new baby on my street, a double

PK whose Mom and Dad are Methodist

pastors and church planters. I'm hoping to

go over and meet her today. I love new babies, the way they smell and their sweet little fingers and toes. Little K has me thinking about all the new things that please us with their shiny freshness.

Please share with us five things you like *especially* when they are new.***

1. New pens and new notebooks. Mmmmm, the feel of writing with the smooth flow of a newly opened fountain pen (or its imitation, since that's what I can afford) on a fresh page - there is nothing like it!

2. A new book! The cover unblemished and the pages just begging for my input on their fresh margins. (again, a pen & a book - am I sensing a theme?)

3. A new bag. Whether a linen grocery bag, knitted

purse, or backpack - any bag! It wasn't until just a few years ago that I started switching out my bags/purses like crazy... particularly my computer bag. I had a great one on wheels that I rolled everywhere (the coffee shop, in particular, which completely embarrassed my partner). My current one is hot pink/purple with multicolored polka dots! (note: bags can carry pens & books).

4. New shoes. Again, it wasn't until a few years ago (after I moved to Colorado) that I began to enjoy nice shoes. Maybe it's having to be comfortable on your feet while wanting to be fun or stylish?

5. A new haircut. I just had 5 inches taken off my head yesterday (plus some extra in layers). A haircut is never exactly the same as when it's new.

Pizza & Faces

2009-10-30T15:50:00.005-06:00

Enough said?!

It's been a couple weeks since I returned from Kansas

(I still can't believe I made an intentional visit to the mid-west... and enjoyed it - go figure),

but I have waited to post these photos because I want to do them justice.

Truly, the slice is as big as her face.

I LOVE THIS PIZZA PLACE.

Thank you, Kendra & John, for sharing your creation with us!

Yum

Musical Friday Five

2009-10-23T09:28:00.013-06:00

MUSICAL FRIDAY FIVE

Over at RGBP, Songbird writes,It was ... Martin Luther who said:"I have no use for cranks who despise music, because it is a gift of God. Music drives away the Devil and makes people gay; they forget thereby all wrath, unchastity, arrogance, and the like. Next after theology, I give to music the highest place and the greatest honor."

On this Friday before Reformation Sunday, let's talk about music. Share with us five pieces of music that draw you closer to the Divine, that elevate your mood or take you to your happy place. They might be sung or instrumental, ancient or modern, sacred or popular...whatever touches you.

My deepest connection with music is through singing along to the radio/cds... even if the song has no words, I vocalize - lalala, hum, etc - to feel the music in my physical being. Here are 5 (in no particular order) that particularly speak to my spirit:

1) Catch me singing "Hammer and a Nail" (Indigo Girls) in the shower many mornings. "Gotta get out of bed, get a hammer and a nail - learn how to use my hands not just my head - I think myself into jail - Now I know a refuge never grows from a chin in a hand in a thoughtful pose - gotta tend the earth if you want a rose!" It's a great way to remind myself to get moving; God has called me into the world. (YouTube video here - but, thank heaven, it's not me singing)

2) I can't sing the Dixie Chicks' "Top of the World" without passion and a lump forming in my throat - it's such a soul-longing search for redemption that it encourages me to try to live life without those deep regrets. (another YouTube video)

3) If I had to choose a favorite hymn (too hard a task, by far!), I might name "O For a Thousand Tongues" in sentimental honor of my United Methodist roots - but really, most hymn-lyrics to the tune of AZMON make my heart sing.

4) Melissa Ferrick's "'Til You're Dead" just makes me happy because it's a song Jamie sang to me early on in our (now 10-year!) relationship.

5) And just because I'm totally boring and predictable, if I need a pick-me-up, or if I'm having a joyful day and want to celebrate it, or for almost any other reason, I put in any Indigo Girls cd and sing along. Lyrics, music, spirituality and social justice emphasis make their music speak to every part of who I am.

On a similar note, if you haven't read Don & Emily Saliers' book A Song to Sing, A Life to Live: Reflections on Music as Spiritual Practice I highly recommend it! It's from the perspective of a professor of liturgy/music (Don) and his daughter, a "pop" musician (Emily).

Wind Turbines in Kansas

2009-10-17T10:18:00.003-06:00

WIND TURBINES IN KANSAS

The tops of their spinning rudders

disappear into sky;

fade to mystery as they wind

unknown in lowered clouds.

What songs do they sing to the sun

beyond my sight?

Are they whispering love sonnets

to water particles clinging to their blades?

Is there a suffering sigh

pulled through each draft?

Or are they mute, indifferent to

their existence; solitary amidst a

clan of multiples - twins, triplets, quintuplets -

cousins and in-laws living in the same 90-acre house?

Alone.

Study Week part II

2009-10-16T14:05:00.010-06:00

It's only Friday, and I've actually succeeded in reading some of what I set out to soak in this week (totally unexpected from one who reads so very slowly...at least re: non-fiction). I even remained open to the Spirit to lead me a little off track with one of my selections. Here is what I've accomplished so far:

Resonant Leadership: Renewing Yourself and Connecting with Others Through Mindfulness, Hope, and Compassion and Leaders Who Last: Sustaining Yourself and Your Ministry are both excellent reads in multiple arenas. First, of course, leadership skills; followed very closely by renewal and sustenance; and guiding others in leadership ability. I find them particularly relevant to church leadership, but their insights, probing questions and exercises can be applied to any number of fields (Resonant Leadership is actually directed toward businesses, but the principles stand for any entity desiring to be grounded in a holistic approach to their goals).

Conversation as Ministry: Stories and Strategies for Confident Caregiving was not on my initial list of intended reading. However, its focus on developing skills that enable members of the faith community to hold "pastoral conversations" will benefit our lay caring visitors. The numerous stories and succinct summaries will be great resources for me in continued training of members for this ministry.

I am about halfway through Prayer and Our Bodies. While seemingly quite distinct from the other texts I've chosen, the readings in this book have coincided unexpectedly with each of the others. Corresponding quotes from G.K. Chesterton and Mechtild of Magdeburg are the least of the similarities. The greatest synchronicity is the reminder in each that we must be mindful, aware and check in with our bodies (as well as our spirits, emotions and minds) in order to be whole, spiritual, human beings.

I'll try to update if I finish The Art of Faith or Walking on Water, both of which I've also begun...

Study Leave/Reading Week

2009-10-10T16:44:00.005-06:00

One of the true gifts of being a pastor is being able to take time to renew yourself & revitalize your ministry. Of course, your church also has to recognize the power of such sabbath time for the work you share. Happily, mine does; starting Monday, I get to renew & revitalize.

Since I have not yet finished Margaret Marcuson's Leaders Who Last: Sustaining Yourself and Your Ministry, I will begin this reading week by immersing myself in its wisdom*. Marcuson (quotes Gerald May who) refers to 16th century mystic John of the Cross' statement:

"God does not fit in an occupied heart".

Throughout this week I hope to hold an open heart, listening to where Spirit leads and daring to follow that voice. I hope to empty my heart of old and no-longer necessary "truths", so I may hold space for what the Divine has been waiting to put in their place. I hope to hang the "vacancy" sign, bright and flashing.

I also hope to check in with a couple other valuable resources - all in the arenas of leadership in congregations, renewal or self-care, and the spiritual practice of art/writing. Some of the possibilities are:

Resonant Leadership by Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee
Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeleine L'Engle
The Art of Faith by Cathy Coffey
Prayer and Our Bodies by Flora Slosson Wuellner
The Equipping Church by Sue Mallory
Hear and Be Wise: Becoming a Preacher and Teacher of Wisdom by Alyce M. McKenzie

We shall see what comes...

*If you've been following for a while, you'll remember I've been trying to hold myself accountable to reading 3 different books on leading well. I've finished the first one, don't overly appreciate much of the theology in the second one, and the third one is this one by Marcuson.

Sacred Moments

2009-10-09T10:33:00.041-06:00

SACRED RITES FRIDAY 5

Sophia of RevGalBlogPals invites us into special memories of "rites" this week with her reflection: I will be at my new Independent Catholic church's yearly Synod, being welcomed and conditionally re-consecrated to episcopal ministry for this jurisdiction....[I'm] making last preparations for my preaching, presiding, and teaching during the week. Exciting stuff but also nervous making with less time to prepare than I would prefer and lots of new people to meet--especially because, in accord with the pioneering status of ordained Catholic women, 95% or more will be men and I am not sure how receptive some may be to the Christian feminist theological/liturgical perspective!

This has me thinking of the special rites of passage in our lives which we participate for ourselves or in which we support and bless others: baptism, confirmation, marriage, ordination, graduation, funerals, etc. Such important days, so exciting and joyous, but also sometimes anxiety provoking or deeply painful....So, this week, please share five memories of such sacred moments with God and her holy people from your life and the lives of those you love.

So I begin...

1. The first special rite that called to my memory is my ordination: May 10, 2003. There are 2 points that remain vivid -- seeing Jamie (my partner) standing in the high pulpit of the Congregational Meeting House reading the words of Mary's Magnificat; and the moment after I

kneeled and was blessed with so many hands laid upon me... I stood and felt myself being pulled higher and higher, through the crown of my head, as if I'd be pulled right off my feet into the air (I can't describe it any better - It was awe-some).

2. I know we minister-types are prone to appreciating the beauty and hope found in funerals, but the one that has meant more than I can describe was being asked (as we drove from CT to IA for the funeral) to officiate at Jamie's grandfather's service. The mix of Roman Catholics and United Methodists made me (a UCC clergywoman) an interesting choice to begin - add to the mix that I'd only met him a few times, and (the kicker) I'm his granddaughter's lesbian partner... well, I've never been more honored in my life.

3. Of course, my wedding (of the church, not the state) was a moment of such sacred joy for me. What a gift to make this covenant before my family of faith, my family of origin and my extended families of love and friendship - and their covenant of love and support in return!

4. It seems an odd inclusion on this list, but a very holy passage for me was the day I realized I was not heterosexual: coming out was truly a revelation from God for my life. In that 1 day I told some of the most important people in my life - myself (most important), my parents, the person I felt attraction toward, my best friend, my boy friend (so hurtful - I would change that if I could), and my Christian mentor (from Confirmation through senior high).

5. I feel somewhat trivial in adding this, but it was an incredible mountaintop experience for my life. I got to spend several days on retreat and in workshops with Emily Saliers of the Indigo Girls - hiking up mountains, meditating on

petroglyphs, listening to her talk about the spirituality of her music. Emily is one of my favorite theologian/musician/justice-seekers, and whenever I need grounding or pick-me-ups or peace or anything, I tend to turn toward her lyrics.

I'd just like to note these are in no particular order :).

Snow Photos

2009-10-08T16:07:00.004-06:00

I chose to enjoy the snow today - good choice.

Here are some "action shots" of flakes doing their thing...

(click to enlarge and really see the details)

Snow

2009-10-08T08:04:00.006-06:00

SNOW

October. Early October.

I awoke in the deep dark of lengthening night

to visit with a church member prior to surgery.

Stepping out of my car I thought,

"Oh! Mist".

(Very perceptive; quite expressive - that's me before coffee).

Home again I noticed the mist had just a few white flakes spiraling through its dance ,

and I called Jamie to let her know: "there's snow".

A moment ago, fluffy, spongy blobs began to slush in random death on the sidewalk.

Now I am witness to an official snowfall - the first of the season - less periodic, more persistent in their dive.

Rather than slush on impact, flakes bounce or skitter.

Either way, pedestrians pull into themselves.

~~~

All of this to say, I think I'm amazed at the weather change today. Yesterday the sun smiled distant warmth to the depth of my bones; today the sky drapes around me with an earth-bound cloudy blanket.

How do we negotiate such quick change?

Dragon In The Light

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Snow

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